paladin and mage

[pyrokineticvampire]

“Fuck yes!” Roxy cried as she fireballed a dark elf. “Take that!” She clicked into the chat box.

TG: your pain, my gain
TG: go cry to your mommy
TG: ain’t got shit on me
TG: im a machine
TG: in fact, im the motherfucking QUEEN
TT: You think you’re so great?
TT: Well, girl, you’re a bit late.
TT: The birds have flown the fucking coop, and you’re left lost and out of the loop.
TG: the fuck are you on about tim
TT: I just beat the shit out of the Drow King.
TT: Made level 50.
TT: This is where a lesser paladin would invite you to suck it.
TG: fuck that noise
TG: im coming for your ass
TT: Bring it right the hell on, my good mage.
TT: Not like anyone’s accusing you of being sage.
TT: I’ll beat your avatar so hard you’ll feel it through your screen.
TT: Then next time we’ll see how quick you are to preen.
TG: ain’t no one got time for this
TG: (im gonna fuck you up you lil bitch)

Three days of grinding later and two major quests later, Roxy was raring and ready to go. She chugged a red cream soda as she scrolled through her list of contacts.

golgothasTerror
gutsyGumshoe
timaeusTestified

TG: you ready to go
TG: bro

No response, for five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes.

TG: timaeus?

Half an hour later:

TT: Sorry. Had an argument with my bro. He doesn’t approve of me spending so much time playing games.
TT: As if his shitty webcomic is a worthwhile pursuit.
TT: But hey, at least he’s creating something.
TT: Anyway.
TT: You wanted to fight?
TG: well i mean
TG: do u
TG: do you want to talk about it
TT: Talk about what?
TG: the fight with ur bro
TG: it sounds
TG: sort of like one ive had with my mom a few times
TT: It does?
TG: yeh i mean
TG: she goes on and on about how a lady shouldnt sit around in her pjs fiddling with video game controllers in the basement
TG: but then sometimes she brings me cookies so i dont see how thats supposed to be discouraging me
TT: My bro leaves a case of orange soda outside my door every few days.
TG: aww
TT: But still. He sees no value in anything I do.
TG: im sure thats not true
TT: Well, he does like my rapping.
TT: And sometimes I catch him looking at my art like he’s actually impressed.
TG: see!
TT: It’s just the fucking puppets. He can’t stand them.
TG: puppets? :/
TT: Do you have a problem with totally awesome plush proboscises, TG?
TG: lmao no i guess not
TG: and the name’s roxy btdubs
TT: Dirk.
TG: u kno u dont actually seem so bad
TG: maybe even a little bit rad
TT: Please, I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread.
TT: But you’re okay too. Just don’t let it go to your head.



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