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pyrokineticvampire) wrote2013-08-16 11:46 am
pyrokineticvampire) wrote2013-08-16 11:46 am
anxious and alcoholic
“So, whatcha in for?”
Dirk looks up at the intrusion, watching as a girl from group sits down across from him. It’s the first time anyone except the nurses has spoken directly to him -- not that Dirk has made himself easily accessible. If he’s remembering right, her name is Roxy, she has a severe problem with alcoholism, and she’s easily the liveliest patient in the entire facility. “Teen delinquency,” he lies.
“Oh, yeah? You a bad boy?” She winks at him and licks her lunch spoon.
Dirk takes a deep breath and looks down at the table again. “Don’t start, I’m not interested.”
“Not interested in joking around and enjoying life, apparently. Lighten up, I’m messing with you. How come you didn’t say anything in group?”
In group, Dirk had refused to say anything outside of introducing himself. “Being here is a waste of my time. If I’m not properly qualified to deal with my own issues, then the people here are even less so.”
“Well, yeah, because they don’t know you. That’s why you’re supposed to talk to them.”
“I’m not talking to anyone.”
“You’re talking to me.”
Dirk looks up again. Despite an excitable and abrasive front, Roxy is sitting calmly across the table from him with a warm and comforting smile on her face. She’s right; he had started to fall into a conversation with her about things he doesn’t want to discuss with anyone. There’s something relaxing and inviting about her.
When Dirk doesn’t reply, Roxy continues. “Depression and social anxiety, huh?”
Dirk goes still, just barely managing to hold onto his fork. “I didn’t say that.”
“Relax, it’s not going to kill you to open up, Dirky. People should have a partner in crime, especially in a dreary place like this, don’t you think? Maybe one on one is more your thing, if you’re uncomfortable with people.”
Dirk shakes his head, his heart rate spiking as he realizes how easily she’s reading him. It’s only been a few minutes and she already knows more than he’s ever wanted anyone to know. “I’m not a one on one type, I’m just a one type and the one is me. I prefer to be alone.” He struggles to swallow the lump in his throat.
“There’s a difference between your current comfort level and what you’d actually prefer,” Roxy says, her voice low and gentle. “Take a deep breath, finish your lunch, and come talk to me sometime, okay?”
She disappears as quickly as she’d appeared and Dirk is instantly grateful that she’s left him to gather himself on his own. Most people pry and uselessly attempt to comfort him, but this time he doesn’t feel nearly as shaky as he normally does after finding himself on the verge of an attack.
He spends a lot of time thinking about Roxy that night, going over the things she said and what it might mean to talk to her again.
One week and three group sessions later, Dirk chooses the chair next to Roxy in the circle. Roxy doesn’t say anything and neither does Dirk, but when he glances at her in the corner of his eye, he sees her smile.
>Back
Dirk looks up at the intrusion, watching as a girl from group sits down across from him. It’s the first time anyone except the nurses has spoken directly to him -- not that Dirk has made himself easily accessible. If he’s remembering right, her name is Roxy, she has a severe problem with alcoholism, and she’s easily the liveliest patient in the entire facility. “Teen delinquency,” he lies.
“Oh, yeah? You a bad boy?” She winks at him and licks her lunch spoon.
Dirk takes a deep breath and looks down at the table again. “Don’t start, I’m not interested.”
“Not interested in joking around and enjoying life, apparently. Lighten up, I’m messing with you. How come you didn’t say anything in group?”
In group, Dirk had refused to say anything outside of introducing himself. “Being here is a waste of my time. If I’m not properly qualified to deal with my own issues, then the people here are even less so.”
“Well, yeah, because they don’t know you. That’s why you’re supposed to talk to them.”
“I’m not talking to anyone.”
“You’re talking to me.”
Dirk looks up again. Despite an excitable and abrasive front, Roxy is sitting calmly across the table from him with a warm and comforting smile on her face. She’s right; he had started to fall into a conversation with her about things he doesn’t want to discuss with anyone. There’s something relaxing and inviting about her.
When Dirk doesn’t reply, Roxy continues. “Depression and social anxiety, huh?”
Dirk goes still, just barely managing to hold onto his fork. “I didn’t say that.”
“Relax, it’s not going to kill you to open up, Dirky. People should have a partner in crime, especially in a dreary place like this, don’t you think? Maybe one on one is more your thing, if you’re uncomfortable with people.”
Dirk shakes his head, his heart rate spiking as he realizes how easily she’s reading him. It’s only been a few minutes and she already knows more than he’s ever wanted anyone to know. “I’m not a one on one type, I’m just a one type and the one is me. I prefer to be alone.” He struggles to swallow the lump in his throat.
“There’s a difference between your current comfort level and what you’d actually prefer,” Roxy says, her voice low and gentle. “Take a deep breath, finish your lunch, and come talk to me sometime, okay?”
She disappears as quickly as she’d appeared and Dirk is instantly grateful that she’s left him to gather himself on his own. Most people pry and uselessly attempt to comfort him, but this time he doesn’t feel nearly as shaky as he normally does after finding himself on the verge of an attack.
He spends a lot of time thinking about Roxy that night, going over the things she said and what it might mean to talk to her again.
One week and three group sessions later, Dirk chooses the chair next to Roxy in the circle. Roxy doesn’t say anything and neither does Dirk, but when he glances at her in the corner of his eye, he sees her smile.
>Back